My dedicated server manager won't download my private mod. But client side will?/??

Just as the title says. My server manager won't download a mod I set to friends only.
I took this person's advanced FTL drive mod and slapped a hotfix on there. Also changed the required construction components to 250k steel plates and 10-20k of everything else. I want this absurdly expensive. Also lowered the range upgrades multiplier.
I don't have permission yet to make this public. SO I'm using it in private. I really just needed to customize the mod for my own taste and made it where it will actually charge because it won't take more that 200k input. Takes 5 days to charge at this. It's unusable unless I use my edited version.

My issue is my manager will not download this mod. It says it can't find it. I have to set it to public for like 10 seconds until my manager downloads it, then I make it friends only. MY client side game will download the mod.
I don't know what else to do here. Don't want to have to switch visibility every time I use this.
Yes, MY server manager is logged in.

 

there are 2 solutions: set it to public and just credit the author (screw permissions) or use torch and get the plugin that lets you use private mods on a server

though i know a lot of server providers dont support torch. Crappy ones